Grips

I'm going crazy. This isn't one of those "It'll pass" kinds of nights. This is one of those nights where I'm close to ripping my hair out and throwing myself down flights of stairs. I need to be home. I need to see everyone I miss because I'm at my breaking point. I want to scream until I fucking choke and just forget about everything.

I'm sick of not being able to be there when I need to be. I hate not seeing the people I care about the most. I hate being so far away from everything I want. My hands are shaking and there's nothing I can do about it. Maybe I need another nightmare just to remind me that I can actually get scared of something. Everything seems so wrong and I feel like I'm just a winter storm away from losing everything.

I can't last six more months. I can't.

I just need out.

-jrd